Sleep

So last night I couldn't sleep. I know, sort of a humorous conundrum because lately that's all I want to do. So I googled cure for mono. And apparently a lot of people frustrated that there is not a cure for this disease wander the internet looking for answers or for someone to validate that it indeed stinks to be us.

I'm being much more dramatic as the weeks of this illness drag on. It's a drag that really aside from being EXHAUSTED and having lymph nodes the size of eggs, I'm really pretty okay...okay maybe a cough and having no appetite might also play into it...but really... In fact I think probably after this weekend, if I rest and try and get rid of this nagging cough, I may be well on my way to recovery. I seem to have more stamina, and while there are minutes of every day that I'm tired, I was that way before the illness so how much of it is mere boredom from meetings and how much is it the illness?

I'm sad too. Sad that the timing of this had to happen right during the couple of weeks that I really need to be on point at work. Sad that I am repulsive to people who have every right to not want to be sick. I'm sad because laying here thinking and being by myself makes me realize how alone I really am, even in the company of friends. I think it's okay to be sad. When I'm healthy again, there will be more to be joyful about. In the meantime...I wallow and eat soup and wonder if next week there will be joy and energy again.

Yep, I'm kind of a drama queen aren't I?