Single, just wondering

So this weekend I took a look at my facebook account and decided to tweak it a bit. Unless you are looking for a dating network, do you really need to advertise that you are single?

Now my mom, assorted aunts and maybe a few friends would probably ask - why are you not looking for a dating network? Do you really want to be cast in the remake of the 40-year old virgin in a couple of years? (Okay so I doubt mom or aunt violet even saw this movie but it has been something even I've asked myself.)

There are some things you just don't really need to know about a person - let alone as a pseudo-sorta-friend on facebook. (Or even the blogworld - but hey I'm sorry this is just what I'm pondering today)

Virgin? Single? Old Maid? Is asking that question falling into the same category? Old Maid is a rather nifty card game but c'mon let go of stereotyping already. (I don't even own a bonnet.)

I also recently had a conversation about the 40-year old virgin with a friend and why the world finds this so completely baffling; that people have this desire to see this as a fixable "disease" instead of something that's in God's plan.

Something MUST be wrong or undesirable with you if you haven't just tossed caution to the wind and had sex. And even if the committment and desire is there - do the rules that sex requires marriage mean anything after 30? Aside from that whole bible thing of course... And really how many men and women really believe that isn't some archaeic bible-only thing in this Sex in the City world instead of a perfectly reasonable guideline from God to follow?

I like that tv show but seriously this world has become a tad casual about relationship.

I'm not sure why being a virgin means anything more than to God, you and your future husband. But then again maybe I'm just separating the physical act from the more cerebral.

So is it something to hang on to when you are approaching 40? Do you need a makeover? I guess specifically if you are sensitive about your hope not exactly measuring up to the plan that God has layed out for you it could be easy to just toss conviction to the wind and just go have sex already! If only it was that easy.

So how does this all relate to Facebook? Well, I'm not sure why I got onto this tangent.

Now, true, I'd like to know if people are married (firting avoidance) or committed (ditto) but really for the rest of the status choices - I don't need to know if you have a complicated dating scenario (really what would THAT even be?)

If you don't check anything does that make you automatically say you might be interested in women? You don't check friendship - you don't want to be friends?

So I decided that it was best to just say nothing at all. And facebook complied by broadcasting that I was no longer single.

I know people were just joking with their questions of my status but even though I sarcastically sent back notes to the effect that probably it would be snowing right now because hell would have frozen over, I'm just a tad over-sensitive about this whole dating/relationship thing.

I'm interested in men. I even have a few single men in my life that I would gladly date, if the feeling were mutual. However, turns out, the feeling isn't mutual and that tends to grate on my sensitivity and ultimately the wall I need to tumble over if I'm to get past this part of my life.

Asking people out is terrifing. It's that playground/junior high mentality of establishing rules for friendship that makes one person make the first move - I like you. Do you like me? Okay let's be friends. That instant conversation that eventually needs action. I'm not exactly sure why it tends to be the man's role to ask a person out? However I do show my bias in that it does seem to work better when they do. At least in my case.

So - I'm back to being a facebook single. It's easier than saying nothing at all. Anyone up for a game of Old Maid?