I now know how NASA feels. I've been working since last October on a project and finally had my chance to show it to our leadership team today. It's shiny bells and whistles were working fine until about 12:32...the first moment I logged in to start my presentation...and nada...the first two tries didn't work - just froze the damn computer and there was nothing I could do but completely dump out of the program. By then I looked around the table at the eyes of those around the table...I had their pity but I also knew I didn't have their approval to move forward with the launch. I was heading back to the hanger. My shiny rocket could not launch. And damn, I was so dejected.

I hate crying at work. I think I understand why Tom Hank's character in A league of their own says "crying...there's no crying in baseball".

I know people encourage me to find a different job, but really when it comes down to it...I do like what I'm doing...I just hate that sometimes it's a tad overwhelming. There are certain projects that get that way, both in my personal life and at work. I invest my heart into it and it just hurts to have it broken. Add my family, whom i love but also worry about and the times when I'm just alone with my thoughts and well ...I admit it's been really overwhelming lately. I know there are people carrying way heavier burdens than I am...but I'll admit I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing lately with what I have before me but I'm not living it well.