So I haven't kept up with any of the oscar nominated films (except for Cars and Devil Wears Prada both of which get my whole hearted thumbs up) so instead here is the running commentary in my head of watching this year's Oscar telecast and Pre-show warmup.

eegad - what poodle did Joan Rivers kill to make her outfit? Guess I'll see what E! has on. ARGH - Ryan Seacrest needs to get over himself. I don't care what kind of underwear you have on...oh no you aren't ...ah thanks for the "proof" I'm sure there has got to be something more interesting on the food network.

I typically don't like the Barbara Walters thing before the Oscar where she tries to get people to cry. The pre-show...yawn...is it 7:30 yet? Woah - what is with Jennifer Hudson's star trek dress? You have got to be kidding me! Did she look in a mirror? Oh she had a whole film crew with her when she picked it? Well that explains it. I'm no fashion maven but um...it's not 1985.

Painful, awkward white screen video - who are these people? Ack! Painful awkward Ellen monologue. Ah - that was interesting (somersaulting oscar thing)

Who the heck is Don LaFontaine?

It's really sad when the commercials are cooler than the award show (loved the Apple Hello commercial and the Back of Americ Mirror of Opportunity Ad was really clever.)

only 8:15?

I think it would be fun to be a sound editor. Wow, I love the accent of the guy presenting with Jessica Biel in her Barbie Dress (seriously with a little collar and some white floatie sleeves it was BARBIE)

Alan Arkin was great in the movie Indian Summer.

It would have been painful to have been in this audience. Kudos to all of the actors who pulled the whole interpersonal "I'm listening to you trick" of holding their chin during the Al Gore Global Warming speech.

It might have been interesting to be in the rodeo audience when Borat was filming his movie.

The producer who came up with the horse race schtick will be fired tomorrow.

It's not even 9 o'clock and they've only done two awards I care about. It will be a miracle if I watch the whole thing.

Cinema Paradiso was a good movie. It was one of the only foreign language films I've watched where after awhile you don't even realize you are reading the subtitles.

Is this over yet...ah George Clooney is a fine looking man. Oh good someone made Jennifer Hudson ditch that stupid silver jacket.

I'm pretty sure I didn't understand more than five words in the song that Celine sang. I wonder if I would have thought that if we would have paid hundreds of dollars in las vegas to see her show at Caesar's Palace?

We've reached the 10 p.m. mark. Don't know if I will make it to the end. Also the random camera shots are really starting to bug me.

Woah- women with obvious chestal advantage should avoid wearing too tight and revealing gowns...its a tad obnoxious.

I liked that song from Cars (Our Town) it's on my itunes list.

At 20 minutes to 11 they should really edit some of these video retrospectives and just get on with the awards.

Oh except for the memorials - I always enjoy the retrospective they put together to honor those actors et. al that have died. That should really be shown way before 10 p.m.

Boy those gymnasts are very talented. That gun was kind of cool.

Ah Hugh Jackman is a fine looking man.

Yes, Chris (the annoying and unnecessary commentary before the commercial guy) I know I speak even for all the insominiacs in the world...we are more than ready for this award show to be over. (Do people really have oscar pools at their office?)

Forrest Whittaker made staying up past eleven worthwhile. I just really appreciate a bit of humble heart in his acceptance speech

Can you just imagine going for coffee with Martin, Francis Ford Coppola, George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Clint Eastwood? Do you think they talk about movies?

All in all this years telecast was a one star for originality and a half a star for level of interest/boredom. Can you just imagine if you were hosting a big charity event? However would you keep your guests from leaving?