Last night Brad spoke about Youth World. And maybe i just internalize this entirely too much but it's been building upon speaker after speaker and a book I'm currently reading that just challenges me - and I can't help but wonder and imagine that the reason I'm hearing all of this now is because I'm ready to hear it?

He shared the following quote from John R. Mott - "without a doubt there comes to many of us the choice between a life of contraction or one of expansion: a life of small dimensions or one of widening horizons and larger visions or plans: a life of self satisfaction or self seeking and one of unselfish or truly Christ-like sharing."

I don't it's necessarily a bad thing to be self satisfying or living a life of moments of contraction but with one more day under my belt with this on my heart -- a slower expansion and obedience to it all point to where I should be going. Just still don't exactly know how this looks in action but that's why it's slow :)

Three more days until my flight to Illinois. To begin my focus on the unbelievable things I am thankful for and not on the unknown that awaits me in Illinois, I begin the list here:

1. My family. It's been a roller-coaster of a year, but we are all still here and while there could be a bit of work to be done on the health and happiness front, I know I am loved and I love them.

2. My small network of friends. The few here in MN and the rest spread across the country are the sparkling jewel in my life. And while, I need to do a better job of remembering them and serving them, I so treasure their support in the good times and bad.

3. My job. I have been blessed with a job that on most days I enjoy and our division has created a team of people that make going to work a bit more fun. I really need to get a better balance between work and a handle on my overflowing in box before they overwhelm me.

4. God. Maybe in my thoughts tonight he's 4th on the list but He has been so incredibly present in my life this year. Not entirely sure why it has taken me so long to notice. He has brought people into my path and I really feel like his words mean something more??? It's been an extreme blessing finding a church and a group of friends to help build and support this growth. I can only hope that instead of feeling like I'm constantly taking that the next year's relationships are more about giving too.

5. Roof over my head. I complain about my apartment (serious Stewart Management Company - why can't you install a dishwasher?) but I am blessed that I have a roof over my head and a comfortable and warm bed and food on the table for the low low price of $600 a month. Who can beat that?

6. The person who developed the internet. Not only has it help foster connections between family far away, but it has encouraged me to start writing again. It's hard to believe that at one point I wanted to be an english teacher and a creative writer. Words were such an important part of my life during high school and college and somewhere along the line I just stopped painting pictures.

7. Media - Something in me snapped the moment Pat fired me from my last radio job and I put the dream of being a newscaster/journalist aside. A part of me always wondered if giving up so soon, of not believing in the stories that were inside my heart, whether I would ever find a way to get back those skills? Maybe I put too much stock in serendipitous fate moments but I do thank Ben for mentioning after the Ocean Springs video that he was looking for some people to start making videos. I'm not the most "out there" go-getter however the experience of telling a story again has me wondering what other stories there are that haven't been told?