dating double dare

If one more person says that I deserve to find a person who will love me, I do believe I may just have to throw a pillow at them. (Don't all start lining up either - I do own a nerf bow and arrow and I could use it.)

I don't really want to hurt them (or you) but it's become one of those things that really makes me feel more unattractive than hopeful.

I really don't deserve anything but I do have hope in this fickle "coupled" town that he indeed is in the crazy plan that God's keeping secret.

And seriously, the timing on the whole prophesy sermon today just really didn't work for my mindset either because I'm a little impatient with "the plan".

And I'm sure I'm not the only middle-aged single white never married female who feels this way.

It's also why I think when you find someone who attracts you and seemingly they reciprocate, you kind of hope and hang on and hope and it's close, but not. And while the man I dated clearly reminded me of our undefined and clearly casual relationship status, I also learned that I'm not really good at casual and I wonder if that's something I need to work on if I'm going to survive the dating scene into my 40's?

For this latest dating double dare I'm glad that we were eventually honest and that ultimately we became friends.

Even though, sometimes that is the MOST frustrating thing about dating - when you understand friendship is all you'll ever be. And I think in this lonely world this might be okay for now.

Dating is like that Nickelodeon show Double Dare - maybe without the slime - although...nah I won't go there. It's fun, you know some of the answers - you are on the same team heading through the obstacles...but not everyone goes home with the Sega Genesis system. Okay I'll stop with the cheesy analogy. But you head into the date because you are attracted, you feel good and you have fun.

See it's been a while since anyone even stopped to ask. To think about me. To hold my hand or share a kiss. And I haven't asked either.

I've only recently understood...you need to like yourself before anyone else is going to like you and lately I'm having issues in this area.

But I was enamored with an ideal that someone cared and called and took the time to think and kissed well and made me smile and think and hope again. That hasn't happened in a really long time.

And so it is appropriate to steal shamelessly from Amy's facebook account but I do mean these words

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you.