These Many Years

Ten years ago I had to start at the 'lab. Should have seen it as a sign to the "needy" nature of the division I work for that they made me start on the 28th and not something simple like the 1st or 30th. I remember that day distinctly because I couldn't move into my apartment until the 1st and my moving truck was scheduled on the 1st and luckily Amy and Bernie let me crash at their house in Hudson for two days while I started my job without the luxury of having all of my stuff.

Mom and Dad were gracious enough to drive up from Illinois to help me "move" and actually on the 1st they were the ones who signed in the moving people and by the time I got home from work, mom had completely organized my kitchen and dad had installed new bathroom towel racks and an extra lock on my livingroom door.

When I think about the people I've known over the years I can't help but wonder what happened to some of them...

The temp who wrote a porno novel during work.
The admin who quit to become an electrical apprentice.
The marketing manager who insisted he had to be in every photo shoot and on the cover of every product he launched.
The friend who kept me grounded during the two years I kept having panic attacks during work.

I think of the many salespeople I've known through the years and fondly remember a few like Del - this sweet old man from Alabama whose drawl absolutely melted my reserve and I would do just about anything to help the poor guy.
The younger st. louis area salesperson whose life completely changed because of one stupid mistake and a life was lost because he got drunk and went behind the wheel.

There are people like John and Kim and Liesel and Brenda and Diane and Bill who I've worked with all ten years. We carry those years along and have history and inside jokes and stories no one else really understands.

I don't think I would have stayed if I didn't admire the people I work with. That includes a few more like Angie and Jeanette whose humor and ability to just help me out of a jam and friendship make those days I just want to cry a little bit better.

I remember Pat - the chainsmoking tell-it-like it is assistant who took me under her wing and showed me the ropes. She got downsized and dismissed from the company, she met a man, fell in love, got married and died all within two years. It is she who taught me the greatest lesson. You really never know what life is going to throw at you. And God can snuff it out in an instant.

So embrace joy. Find it somewhere in the midst of the dreary damaged life you think you have.

In these uncertain times, it's not easy to find a job or keep one. You're expected to do the best job you can. Obviously i'm not one of the people who flit from job to job when the whim suits me. I'm not saying that that's the best thing...but it seems to have worked for the last ten years.

I admit that lately I'm having a difficult time finding joy. I've figured I need to perhaps turn the other direction from where I've been looking for it.

How ironic on a day that they vote to not bail out the country and the stock market plunges, the gift I receive for 10 years of service is a lump of stock from the 'lab. We'll see what that's worth in a day or two.