What Not to Wear

I know most days I'm a prime candidate for the show What Not to Wear but sincerely I just don't see how going to the mall nowadays allows me to find anything better.

Hello designers, the 70's called and want their designs back. They didn't look good then and the angel-winged psychedelic maternity looking fake wrap vee necked babydoll I'm just not sure about.

I did purchase one today because I really need something sort of hip to wear if I ever attempt to date again and I found one that looked kind of cool and it was on sale at Nordstrom Rack for $12.00.

I know men are probably tired of hearing this but they have it so easy. I'm sure my brother isn't thinking more than five minutes about whether he's going to wear his blue or his purple shirt to the reunion. He'll pair it with a coordinating color of dockers and a pair of shoes and wa-la...he's done.

We have so many more options. The other problem is they never really said how dressy this event is so it's the unending list of questions, trips to the mall, horrific episodes in garish lighted dressing rooms and in the end the questions keep coming...

Skirt or dress or maybe pants
Dressy or casual
short sleeve - mid sleeve - long sleeve - no sleeve
something new or tried and true
heels or flats
cleavage or cover up

I have tried so many options and so far am deeply dissatisfied. Everything is that clingy polyester. I rather enjoy coverage and perhaps two sleeves but it doesn't need to cling.

I even endured a trip to the mall of america, which was crowded with tourists tonight.

Shopping looks so easy on tv. I look at some of my friends and rather enjoy their style. When I try similar things it looks terrible.

I'll stop whining.

Really.

Promise.