Watched Dancing with the Stars tonight. I really liked Kristi's numbers and just wished they wouldn't have switched the camera angles so much. I think that really detracted from really seeing the entire dance. You could also kind of tell the other two gave up which doesn't really make this a competition.

That's not however really what I wanted to comment on tonight. Immediately following DWTS was the Bachellorette. I admit to have a guilty pleasure of watching reality tv. However pretty much since the third season of the Bachelor I've just had a really hard time with this show. And in particular with the shows that have featured "cast offs" as the bachelorette. There's something so contrived with the idea that they are "so sure" at the beginning that this "reality" will turn into a "storybook ending".

Maybe I wouldn't so much mind having the chance to meet 30 guys who would want to date me but nearer to the end I think I would have a problem juggling 3-4 of them and "testing" even the remotest basic intimacy with them (kissing, sharing deeper thoughts, introducing them to my family) And then to have every moment captured on film - well, it just is a bit much for me.

Which is why several years ago I stopped watching. Do these people mostly want to be on the show for television exposure? You'd have to want to be an "exposure" fanatic because why else would you want every moment captured on film?

I am a romantic. I love cinderella. The people at the Bookstore in St. Paul can attest to how many romance novels I seemingly read in a year (I haven't really been to the store in about 1/2 a year and still have over $100.00 credit in my account.) I like clever banter. I like old fashioned wooing.

I am filled with hope that someday I'll meet a man who will BE. Who is genuinely interested in life and me. Who cares about people. Who likes adventure but wants to also establish roots. Who is not defined by what others think of him but has established a definition of who he is and who he wants to be in the future. I know this sounds like an impossible vision but I know he's out there. Maybe I've already met him?

There's this look in the eye of some of my friend's husband's when they talk about their wives. I respect that and can't help but be a little envious of it. You can see the care when they sit together on the couch. They are a symphony, two individual instruments that just sound better together and you just can't see them with anyone else.

Sure, I would like to have someone to talk to over the dinner table when I'm 70 but more than that, I want to find a mingling of souls. I love that image and why would anyone settle for anything less?

Maybe I shouldn't be so cynical about reality dating. Maybe it's just one way to "meet" someone. And heaven only knows, I don't have a clue where you meet eligible men over the age of 35. It is sort of like "speed dating" don'tcha think? Only instead of a bell every five minutes, it's a rose ceremony every couple of days.

Where do you meet eligible men? I know - all over the place. I guess maybe I just am not searching very hard. It's not like I show up to the grocery store and think "today" I'm going to meet him. Although yesterday, I will say, the meat department manager at Rainbow Foods was rather chatty. And considering I'm not one to really frequent bars, I imagine he'll either have to hang out at ecoville (not exactly my first idea for romance) theAlley (which at the very least would mean hopefully he was God-loving) or the grocery store (and who could dislike a person who likes to shop or eat?)

Ah well, the reality is that at some point I'll hopefully have the courage enough to recognize HIM and in the meantime maybe not dwell on it so much. (But somehow I think that's easier said than done, otherwise why would I be writing every few day about this topic anyhow?)