One of the jobs I held during the summer in college was that of an outbound telemarketer. I was "linda, from August Max Woman, is the lady of the house at home". Yep, real original and can be the opening for some interesting insight into people's lives including reasons you don't really want to know why they are shopping at august max woman.

I'm just saying if I wanted to know, I probably would have asked a different question. But all I was paid to do was call the number that popped up on the computer and ask the question "Is the lady of the house at home" and then just try and get their address so we could send them coupons. We couldn't tell them our real name because if by chance the "woman" wasn't at home we were to tell them to call "linda" at 1.800.....and wa-la, the woman on the other end would always be linda ...so very warm and fuzzy personal.

The company I worked for had tens of hundreds of these sorts of "campaigns" and we all just sat in a huge cubicle room and had terribly outdated computers that would just pop in various phone numbers.

There were quotas and bonuses and I was promoted to the inbound area for a week which also wasn't exactly rocket science but a whole lot better than being "linda" let me tell you.

So today I finally found black chairs. And the genius in me figured that instead of trucking them around in my car and trying to figure out how to pack and ship them to Denver - why not have them delivered directly to denver? Easy right? Well this store didn't have an Easy button and their website was on Memorial Day hiatus so I called their 24/7 help desk and talked to this chipper individual...in the Phillipeans (sp?). He didn't quite understand what I was saying but I felt such a kinship having been "Linda" so many years ago that I perservered and hopefully the chairs will arrive at the trade show in ten pieces.

There is this woman who calls my office at least once a week. She has a distinct asian accent. She is merely renewing subscriptions to various publications we receive in the office and since I coordinate many of them for many people I get the phone call. What irritates me is that she just doesn't listen and merely stays on script. I have to answer the questions truthfully becase if we truly are being recorded for training purposes then what if I say something untruthful. So she always asks if * insert sales manager name here* is there and I have to say no. He doesn't have an office technically in St. Paul. So she asks for his assistant. well, no office also means no assistant.

And so I say no however perhaps I can help her because I do renew subscriptions and since I've spoken with her now about 25 times in the last year I kind of know where the script is going (to which she just is clueless but I seriously have this "thing" about recognizing voices which freaks people out a bit especially when they only call once and I can remember their name...anyhow) She always says no, that she needs to speak directly with the sales manager's assistant and so I have to tell her that just can't happen. And so she goes on...and hangs up only to call again four or five days later.

I've even tried asking to be removed from the list however because I'm not the sales manager's assistant I can't do that. I've thought about just saying that I am, but that would be lying and anyhow...she should just learn to deal and not be so tied to the script.

-------

Yes, it is actually 12:47 a.m. I can't sleep because my next door neighbor installed cowbell chimes on their porch. Annoying things. I wonder if they can hear how annoying they are. Well it should eventually work out that I don't hear them just like the train whistles but in the meantime...I ponder.