Everything I learned about working well I learned preschool - in you play nice with other people's toys and treat other kids the way you would want to be treated. You listen to your teacher and you try hard to learn as much as you can so you can grow up to be a strong and faithful worker. You do all that because that's who you ARE. Gold stars are nice but they don't really motivate me.

I know I go off on soapboxes about how our workplace just doesn't share attaboys or attagirls that easily but I guess I was talking about the small ones...spontaneous, meaningful gestures instead of the grandious gesture known as the Excellence Awards.

This year was the first year in about eight that I haven't felt excellent. I feel scattered, distracted, sometimes a tad bored, sad, tired, jaded. Surely not excellent.

John stopped at my cube tonight. He sat down. Just wanted to see how my day went I guess? (At least that's what I thought at first.) He didn't really say much and you know that awkward quiet where you just feel like you have to fill it with something...anything so he'd just get on with the real reason why he's lurking in my cube...well you can't just ask your boss "what the heck do you want?" can you?

So after smiling that I've got something great to tell you smile and waiting for me to stop babbling at him he says...I just wanted to congratulate you - I've nominated you for this year's excellence award. I wanted to say FOR WHAT???? But in reality all I did was stare at him blankly to which he says....I always appreciate your humble attitude.

Can you really think your worthy of excellence when you don't feel it? I can't just go in there and say...are you crazy? (Besides which review time is coming up and I wouldn't mind a little more than the standard 2% raise) I know my work wasn't crap but I truly truly don't think I need an award nomination for it.

Yep, surely yet another sign that I work in an office that is very much THE OFFICE.