Surly. That's an excellent word for how I feel. Kind of like those old men who sit in the balcony and complain all the time on the Muppet show. At some point I think it's tough to lift yourself out of a surly funk. And please hold the rendition of Kermit the Frog breaking out into Rainbow Connection for some other time.

Probably a good thing that I haven't been blogging every day because you would have had to listen to me complain and whine with not any good idea sharing about how to make it better and that just continues the surliness. It's been a challenge to love lately. I am the epitome of the Air Supply song I won't sing. I'm probably just as hard to love back. And it makes me wonder if love can actually exist in the workplace? I HATE the phrase it's business not personal because I tend to take things that I do very personally. I try and care about people. But I'm also overwhelmed lately and all anyone just does is shrug their shoulders and say things will get better. I've been trying to believe that for two years. Part of me is acting like a three year old I know. I've been pouring a lot of extra energy into a project that I think will be very useful and cool. Only to find it possibly on the chopping block because we need to weigh whether spending $193.50 a salesperson this year would be worth it to launch this program. And mostly I'm being a bit of a baby because this new system makes my life about 40 times more easier.

I also feel bad because we have two pretty decent guys who work our loading dock however sincerely, all I wanted them to do for me was to put eight fairly heavy boxes onto a pallet, shrink wrap it and call a freight company (even Fed Ex really) and send the darn thing to Anaheim. Nah that's just much too difficult and they wanted to send each box separately. Which for a trade show is a NIGHTMARE...not only because the trade show company charges a minimum acceptance fee of $100 minimum to accept a package but then I'm left to track little boxes all over a huge convention center...and when I say package...that would mean I'd get charged $100 for a pallet or $100 a box...which really is $800...gee...which one is more fiscally responsible of me. So I kind of mouthed off at this poor dock friend because I had already packed the boxes, got a flatbed, loaded these heavy boxes onto the flatbed and brought it downstairs...all I wanted was a little help to ship the pallet...anyhow...what do I know? Perhaps it's not in their job decription and luckily my job description has a neat little line about "other projects as needed..."

Ah...the sarcasm...it's blinding.....but sometimes if you only knew what a terrible, horrible no good very bad month a person is having...a little sarcasm between friends still is unacceptable. I of course called them and apologized but still feel guilty about it today.

Alas, enough whining about work. I did get home in time to catch Top Chef Chicago.

I must be getting old. Just yesterday I was commenting to someone how I couldn't understand all the kids running around in t-shirts without their coats. And today I just got irritated at this mostly favorite show because there were a few in the cast that just peppered their comments with too many things that needed to be "bleeped" out of the show. Do you really have to talk like that? These people are also trying too hard to be characters instead of their cooking defining their character. We'll see.